Need Some Water

Growing up in grade school I was always looking forward to playing on the school teams. You had to wait until 5^th grade to go out for football. Christ the King was a touch league with other Catholic Schools in the area. It may have been touch football ….. but it could get rough.

In 7^th grade we thought we had a pretty good team so we challenged the town midget football team to a game of tackle. They thought they would walk on the field and just run us up and down the field. We had a great group of players and boy …. were they surprised? They thought they were playing a bunch of the Catholic School wusses.

We knew most of the kids on the other team for we had grown up with them playing town sports. Initially there was a lot of trash talk going both ways in a fun manner. However…I am pretty sure they had a new found respect after the game.

Standing on the sideline you always waited for your name to be called by the coach. Hutch, we need you to do a fast sweep around the outside. I was always waiting…I was ready. I specifically remember one game, standing on the sideline watching our team, it was a hot Saturday morning. The score was close, everyone was tired.

Finally …. it happened…my name was called… our coach says “ Hutch come here.” I hurried to put my helmet on and as I am running down to him I am desperately trying to buckle my chinstrap.

Yea coach…what do you need? “It’s getting near halftime, the players are tired and thirsty, why don’t you run up and get them some water for half time.”

My heart sank…I was ready but I was not deterred. I loved football and I was determined to hold my head up high. My time would come.

And it did come, in high school I played 3 sports….Football, Basketball and Track. I went out for football my junior year when I realized my career in basketball was waning. Although I loved basketball, the starting 5 when I was a freshman were all sophomores, I could see the writing on the wall, I needed to find a new sport to excel in. I looked to football and track.

I remember a basketball game against one high school in my sophomore or junior year. The other team was playing a man to man defense and I was playing the forward position. The defender kept trying to trash talk me… “Hey, you gotta jockey on,” he kept pushing me and throwing jabs at me as I was making cuts. This went on for the entire quarter. Trying not to get sucked in to his taunting….as I was going up for a rebound, he was just about hanging on my back, I jammed my elbow down his throat. I think he was caught a little off guard. As I made my way up the court he said…”Ohhhh, you shouldn’t have done that, now you really going to get it.” I just ignored him and continued to play.

A few minutes later I got the ball on the right side and I faked a jumper and went down the baseline and under the basket for a reverse layup. As I was extended and in the air the center from the other team came across the lane and punched me in the privates, and as I came down bellied over in pain, he proceeded to do an upper cut that landed on my left eye. He then pushed me and I fell into the stands and the crowd took a shot.

The ref called a foul, Hey, how about throwing them out of the game…

I could barely see and had to leave the game after the foul shot. You are probably asking; did I make the fouls shot?

I really don’t remember. I do remember that I had to wear a patch over my eye for 3 days and I had a slight limp.

What You Say

Have you ever been to Key West…

It is one of our favorite spots to visit…

 

Anyone who has dropped out of life….

Has relocated to Key West

 

Quite an eclectic crowd

 

Some years ago…

We were at a neighborhood party and I was speaking to a friend

He and his wife had just got back from Key West

I told them my wife and I were heading to Key West in a couple of weeks

 

He went on to say that while they were in the Keys

They had attended a Séance and…

It was unbelievable

 

A….. Séance….Really…

 

When Janet and I got to Key West, we decided to check it out

We found out where it was located

Walked around the neighborhood

(It was an older home)

We got up the courage to go up

And knocked on the door

 

After a brief discussion

We were told

The Séance begins at 7pm

We told them we would be there

 

The next question was…

Should we eat dinner before the Séance

Around 5pm and then head over

(There was a small restaurant down the street)

Or do we want to grab something to eat afterwards

 

We decided we would do dinner at 5…

 

After a nice dinner

We walk up the street and knocked on the door

As we walked in we saw about 10 people standing in the foyer

They all asked….

 

Are you guys here for the Séance…

 

We did some initial small talk…

 

Where are you from…

How long are you in the Keys…

And of course….

 

Is this your 1^st Séance…

 

Suddenly, the door opened,

We were asked to come into the dining area…

There was a large Dining Room table and…

We were asked to take a seat around the table

 

The Seancer welcomed us and introduced himself

 

He started by saying…

 

 I know you probably have a lot of questions about…

What can you expect from the Séance

 

Have you ever heard of Kreskin…

(He was a very famous mentalist in our day)

That is what I do…

 

I am a mentalist and I can read peoples’ minds….

And…. I can communicate with the spirit world

 

To give you an idea of what I can do

I want everyone to think of someone

Who is very special in your life

I want you to concentrate on their name and…

I am going to tell you who that person is

 

Ok….Is everybody ready…

Now I want you all to concentrate

 

He looks at my wife and asks…

 

What is your name…

I am Janet…

 

Have you thought of someone special in your life…

Yes, I have…

 

Please stand up and I will tell you who you are thinking of

Better yet…

 

He points to the person sitting next to Janet

 

Will you please stand up…

What is your name…Jim

 

Do you know Janet…

No, I just met her when we came here tonight

 

While Janet is thinking of her person, I am going to send it from my mind to Jim’s mind

And Jim is going to say the name of the person Janet is thinking about

 

Yeah right…

 

Before I reveal who Janet is thinking about…

I want Janet to do one thing…

 

Janet, in front of you will see a tray of ashes

Please pick up the tray of ashes and dump it onto the plate next to it

Now…I want you to take the napkin laying there

Open it up and place it over the ashes on the plate

 

Ok…Now we can get started

Janet… you are still thinking of your name

Think real hard and…

Jim standing next to you is going to say that name

 

Are you ready…

 

All of a sudden…

Jim blurts out the name Janet is thinking about

 

My wife shrieks….

 

How could he possibly know who I was thinking about…

 

Now we are coming to the best part…

 

Janet…was that the name you were thinking of…

Yes, It was my grandmother’s name

 

Ok…

Now I want you to take the napkin off the plate with the ashes

 

As she removes the napkin

Janet see the name of her grandmother

Spelled out with the ashes on the plate

 

It was spelled in the original Gaelic form

 

Bessie

 

The way her grandmother used to spell her name

 

We have never seen anything like that in our lives

 

How did he do it…

I don’t know

 

I could go into more detail about rest of the night

But all I can say…

 

We never saw any of these people before

We will never see them again

And that night will live in our minds forever

 

The spirits were active that night

It was draining on all of us

 

I am not a big fan of the dark…

 

All I can say is…

That there was a lot of energy flowing around the room

 

Good thing we ate at 5pm

We would not have been able to go dinner afterward

 

We all walked out of the house numb…

Yardstick

I went to a Catholic grade school. One of the most important things you do when you are in 2nd grade is study for your 1st communion.

Back in the day we had the Baltimore Catechism. To this day, I know many people whose faith has not grown beyond what they learned in the Baltimore Catechism….

You might remember some of the questions:

1….Who made us……God made us.

2…Who is God… God is the Creator of heaven and earth, and of all things.

3…..Why did God make us…. God made me to know Him, to love Him, and to serve Him in this world, and to be happy with Him forever in heaven.

To make your 1st Communion you had to not only study the Baltimore Catechism, but you were constantly quizzed on the questions and you had better know the answers.

One thing about Catholic Schools in the 1950s…. we had nuns. They were real sticklers when it came to learning your Catechism.

“I would like you to go home tonight and review all these questions and tomorrow we will have a quiz.”

I went home that night….I studied and highlighted, took notes and went over the questions and answers multiple times. I was going to be ready and know all the answers.

The next day, in class the nun decided to have an oral quiz. I was in the 1st row and she started asking the 1st question to the 1st person in my row. The 2nd question went to the person in the 2nd seat.

I sensed, there is a pattern going on here… Now let me see. I am in seat number 7, that means I am going to get question number 7. What is that question? I know I know the answer. What was that question? Let me take a sneak peek in my book.

Ahhhh. Question 7

“Mister Hutchinson. Will you please come up here.”
Why did you open the book….”

I did not open the book.

I was caught red handed. There was no lying my way out of this one…

“Come here Mister Hutchinson…
Stick your hand out.”

Wow….What is going on…. What have I got myself into…

At this point, she reaches back and on the ledge of the chalk board is a yardstick…

Uh Oh…

“I said stick out your hand…”

I’m thinking….What are you going to do with that yardstick…

Crack….

Not only did she hit my hand with the yardstick…

The yardstick breaks.

The nun is very upset now…

“Now look what you done…
you are going to have to buy me a new yardstick.”

What…

Not only am I experiencing pain…now you are going to make me pay you for your infliction…

Is this some sort of Purgatory….

“You have to bring in $2.00 tomorrow so I can buy a new yardstick.”

I am thinking…

Well the yardstick wouldn’t have broken if you didn’t hit me with it.

Lying…Is that a venial sin…

Can I still make my 1st Holy Communion…

For those of you worrying…

Yes I did receive my 1st Communion and I went on to be an altar boy in later years…

Dominus Vobiscum…..Et cum spiritu tuo…

Timetables

People always compliment my math skills. What they don’t know is the story behind my wizardry.

In 5th grade I had Mr Costigan. If you ever acted up in Mr Costigan’s class, he would give you an assignment. Do the timetables 1-10…25 times and bring them in tomorrow. That was how my year started out.

Back then I always a little bit antsy…I had trouble sitting still in my seat. I was also nosey and I liked to talk…

“Mr Hutchinson….let’s pay attention back there.”

Well as the year progressed…so did the number of timetables I had to write…

“Mr Hutchinson…do the timetables 1-10…100 times and bring them to me tomorrow before class.”

It got to a point…. if I had any spare moments…even when I was not in trouble… I was writing timetables. I knew it was only a matter of time.

In fact, I had so many timetables in storage that I sold them to other less unfortunate students who met Mr Costigan’s wrath. You need 25 or 50 of them? Here I got plenty stashed. Just give me $.25 cents a page. I’m just gonna keep on writing anyway.

Well, I made it thru 5th grade and my math skills increased dramatically. Ask me a multiplication question and I knew the answer right off the top of my head.

Guess who I had the pleasure of teaching me in 7th grade….

Good Ole Mr Costigan…

“Mr Hutchinson…I see we can pick up right where we left off. You might as well just start writing…I know you are long overdue and probably missed me…”

What a sense of humor on that guy… You gotta love Mr Costigan.

So I began 7th grade…preoccupied with trying to get ahead of the curve. Mr Hutchinson please write the 1-10 timetables 100 times and bring them into me tomorrow. (He didn’t even start at 25, for I was a veteran. He went right to the 100 category). One time I reached into my school bag and said….”Here ya go….100 timetables”…He just laughed and said…. “better keep writing.”

Well, I did make it thru 7th grade and again my math skill increased dramatically.

Did I tell you I won the math award at 8th grade graduation?

And the math award for all around excellence in math goes to George Hutchinson.

I almost fell out of my seat.

Really…A math award….Thank you Mr Costigan…